Compost #6: Hyperproductivity
Searching for the quiet
When the idea for The Wildflower first sprouted, I had plans to share a thoughtful and complex essay every Sunday in 2026. I created a detailed Excel spreadsheet containing publication dates for each composted topic. A strict schedule seemed like a reasonable goal (lol).
Unsurprisingly, my creativity doesn’t vibe with stringency. I’ve only been writing The Wildflower for two months, and nothing has gone according to plan. I’m winging this. Just the sight of that Excel spreadsheet fills my whole body with anxiety.
“BE HYPERPRODUCTIVE IN THE PURSUIT OF WILDFLOWERING,” screams the spreadsheet.
Gahhhhh, I can feel myself breaking.
do not be misled
into thinking
you should be doing more.
rest.
feed.
heal.
hold.
feel.
these are the seeds.
the beginning.
be gentle with it all.
-holy days
The truth is, Wildflowering ebbs and flows. It takes time. It cannot be forced. It requires resting, feeding, healing, holding, and feeling. These are the seeds. This is the beginning. I must be gentle with it all.
It’s no secret that these are challenging times. I’m barely surviving my day-to-day life without imploding. How about you?
On the days where you forget
that the world holds
more than pain,
search for the quiet.
The quiet holds glimmers that noise
could never reveal.
Search for it everywhere.
Let it take you in.
The quiet is a soft friend.
And where there is love and kindness
and softness and vulnerability,
there is strength and wisdom
and
I can feel myself mending.
-Brianna Pastor
Lately, it’s been so easy to forget that the world holds more than pain. Hyperproductivity is one way to (temporarily) bypass suffering. But like any drug, it never lasts.
Instead of writing a complex essay this week, I’m keeping it simple and spending the rest of the day searching for the quiet. I’ll seek out glimmers that noise and hyperproductivity could never reveal. I’ll let the quiet take me in like a soft friend.
Where there is love and kindness and softness and vulnerability, there is strength and wisdom.
Wildflower seeds cannot grow in hyperproductive soil. I will not be misled into thinking I should be doing more. That damn spreadsheet belongs in the trash.
“Be gentle in the pursuit of Wildflowering,” whispers the quiet.
Ahhhhh, I can feel myself mending.
🌱 Hyperproductivity Compost Equation:
Carbon (hyperproductivity) + nitrogen (spreadsheets, strict schedules) + water (tears) + oxygen (deep cleansing breaths) + the art of decay = a nutrient-rich product used to fertilize wildflower soil
🌷Affirmation: I search for the quiet.
🌼 Journal Prompts: Are you using hyperproductivity to bypass pain? Where can you create space to rest, feed, heal, hold, and feel? Are you breaking or are you mending?
🪻Next Up: Compost #7: Shame
💐Related bonus essays:
